For anyone that doesn't know by now, I'm having a second baby! I'm really excited, but of course, me being me, it also helps me to focus and take a second look at certain areas of my life. The same thing happened with my first child. As soon as I found out that he was being born, everything was given another look.
Suddenly, life wasn't about me and my wife. It was about looking to the future and what I wanted for him. It was strange, not being able to change the things I didn't like on my own, but suddenly, with a child on the way, I was given the strength. It wasn't easy, and my life is completely different now than it was then, but it's for the better in every way. There's a reason why my son's middle name is Lysander (meaning he who is free). I want him to be free. Of drama and hardship and bondage. I want him to look at life as an opportunity and a wonderful thing to be cherished in every way.
And I think it's working so far. I absolutely love him, and almost every day I'm telling him how he is one of my favorite people in the whole world. He's funny, witty, handsome, energetic, smart and awesome. One moment we're play fighting, and in the next, we're having a conversation about life. Sure, he's only four, so his outlook might be a little different, but it's nice that we can just talk like that. No matter what happens in life, I will be there for him.
So now, I have a second child on the way, and it brings to light the few things that I would like to change. They are minor things, but there are there nonetheless, and I think it only brings to light the beauty of parenthood. As human beings, we can often be selfish, thinking only of ourselves and not considering another person's side. But being a parent forces us to evaluate what we're doing every day. This child before me is not just a duty. He is literally looking to me for guidance and assistance, and I need to know that I'm steering him right. Sometimes that means making some hard decisions. To this day, I only have one regret in my life, and even then, the result has been bittersweet, not entirely bad. I feel like that's a good thing for my son and my future child. To have far more victories than failures.
I am once again on the cusp of change, and I'm excited for it.